Hello – do you eat shitty pizza? How are you supposed to know, you ask? Well, we’d like to cover a few of the basics:

• You don’t eat the crust
• You douse your pizza in RANCH
• You move the toppings around cuz the G-league chef didn’t get it right
• You circumcise the pizza slice (cutting the tip off with your fork, OUCH!)

Next, are there reasons that you enable these situations? Perhaps I can offer you a few narratives:

• I won’t get enough slices to get me full
• The nice toppings cost too much money
• I don’t have pizzeria time, so I’ll do this fast food pizza shit
• I have a coupon and that dictates my decision-making

Don’t normalize eating shitty pizza! It is not ‘normal’ or ‘regular’ pizza! Take a step back, and understand the quality of your decision-making!

What are these narratives for you???